Hostage at the Table by George Kohlreiser, published by Jossey Bass

I confess to having some initial prejudice against this book. This was firstly because it was labelled as a ‘Warren Bennis book’ and I recall once hearing a most disappointing lecture on leadership from Bennis, who came with a high reputation. The second basis for my prejudice was that, even though he is now a professor at IMD, Kohlreiser’s main claim to fame is as a hostage negotiator, which seems a long way away from the context of leadership that the book claims to address.


However, I was soon won over and found it to be the most thought provoking reading on inter-personal behaviour that I have come across in a long time. The main theme of the book is that it is easy and common for people in personal and business life to become trapped in a ‘hostage state of mind’ which causes feelings of dependency, helplessness and despair. This is not in the interests of either party - the hostage taker or the victim - because people in this state are not empowered to give of their best. Victims look for ways to avoid action; non-victims believe that everything is possible. The link to leadership is that not only do good leaders refuse to become victims, they also avoid imposing this mindset on others.

The secret of avoiding or breaking out of the victim mindset is bonding with others and the presence of ‘secure bases’ - people, countries, religion - which will provide protection and comfort; he quotes the phenomenon of hostages bonding with their captors as an example of this - there is no other secure base during captivity. Leaders need to understand that those who have good bonding with others and secure bases will perform to their full potential but, on the other hand, will suffer hugely if these are taken away. Good leaders are proactive in providing the secure base when it is needed and are fully aware of the consequences when one of the team suffers a loss. Failure to be sensitive in such circumstances can be a major source of conflict and dialogue and listening skills are essential ways of helping people move out of their hostage mindset.

There is also a chapter on negotiation which continues the same themes but does not really provide anything new; merely confirming the importance of ‘win/win’ outcomes in different language. There is however a final chapter titled ‘living with a hostage free state of mind’ which links the content to self-esteem and provides some of the connections to leadership which are sometimes missing in earlier chapters. It suggests that leaders with real self-esteem will have ‘empowered humility’ whereas those without will display arrogance and loftiness. I thought that perhaps the author should be asked to look at some of our political leaders as case studies!

Overall, a thought provoking work that is well worth reading. Though there are lots of good stories to make the reading easier, I would have liked to have seen a higher proportion in a business context. At times I would like to have seen more on solving the problems rather than merely identifying them but there is still enough content to help even the most successful leader to re-examine their style.